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A girl living, loving and writing in Los Angeles.
August Listening
August Reading
Favorite Places
Copyright 2001 - 2008 by Ann, unless otherwise noted.
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Monday, May 30, 2005
Joyeux Anniversaire, Nicole!
Aussi, je voudrais souhaiter ma cherie Nicole une Joyeux Anniversaire de vingt seconde ans. Ma monde ce n'est pas la meme sans toi; tu est ma belle etoile!
Miette Patisserie.
I love San Francisco.
I also love my new pirate eye patch straight from 826 Valencia, and I have a peculiar Dave Eggers story to relate from my experience, though I will have to save that for later as I am baking and writing and have a date to bake at 9pm; and a million things to do before Gina gets here.
I like the way you laugh, and I like the way I'm full of stories to tell right now.
Friday, May 27, 2005
Stress on HIGH: Good time for a CHANGE!
Tonight I did laundry and decided to cut my own hair.
Tomorrow morning I am setting off on my next adventure: San Francisco! I plan to fall in love and/or acquire a lot of material goods and eat a bunch of sweet treats.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
"I get it."
He says to me, "I get it. You've never been in love."
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Left My Heart in San Francisco
I think I want to move to San Francisco for awhile sometime soon; it looks like a really good place to fall in love.
But I'll judge for sure this weekend.
For now, a giant's portion of laundry and a french paper on Ton Beau Capitaine aren't going to do themselves.
Pretty much my favorite photograph of Whitney; who I never will be able to show enough gratitude for all those many nights she's saved my life.
ma mere
Proof that I too, will look twenty eight when I'm pushing fifty.
Everything hurts right now.
Sunday, May 22, 2005
I'm at home because my brother asked me to help him make campaign posters (& my mom and I went to Otis open house earlier), and my last few days have been extremes of either physical activity or unconsciousness. So after I finished helping him paint, I passed out on the couch until about half an hour ago. I'll just go back to school tomorrow morning...
I watched The Revenge of the Sith this weekend and nearly wet myself with excitement; it was so freaking good. OH I could talk about it for hours, but I won't indulge in the extent of my geekiness. At least, not right now because I'm exhausted.
Today while in LA, I was reminded that everyone is really really nice! The last few times I'd been in LA, I was terribly annoyed by snobby high school scenesters at shows and jaded chain-smoking seventy year old waitresses with sagging boobs and question mark shaped postures -- but I forgot that most of the people who live there are actually really really quite nice. Must be the sun, for it is the nicest major city I've been to -- which is easy to forget since I grew up here. Not so apprehensive about moving there post-grad.
So here's another list, cause I LOVE LISTS:
Things To Do Before San Francisco
- eMail poetry students
- hold extra workshop session for students
- write French paper (?)
- finish step outline for screenplay
- write new scene for screenplay
- write artist piece
- critique 2 media pieces
- FIND POETRY TO READ FOR READING??
- clean room
- find Groucho Marx glasses
- start shooting for photo project 2
- email professor about internship
- follow up on two companies
- LAUNDRY
What I really want to do:
- hole up in my room and finish A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Diary, Sex, Drugs, & Cocoa Puffs, The Elements of Typographic Style, The Unbearable Lightness of Being& The Alchemist.
- start buying art supplies for art classes!!
- travel to Europe
- find a summer job
- go shopping in LA
- sit outside with Lucy, reading all the aforementioned
- buy Ryan Adams' new album Cold Roses, Bright Eyes' Digital Ash for a Digital Urn, & Gwen Stefani's Love Angel Music Baby because FINE it is my fucking guilty pleasure -- it's so wrong but it feels SO GOOD.
One day I will write my rant about how incredibly offensive all this orientalism is right now -- from Stefani's Harajuku Girls fetish to Jet Li's characterization in Unleashed, among other examples -- but I am way too tired to be noble and socio-culturally minded today.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
me: oh andy rourke of the smiths is dj-ing tomorrow
annie: ohhh it should be fun!
annie: and lots of mexicans will be there
P.S. Annie is NOT a crazy racist as she sounds out of context here; in fact:
annie: i live with two latinas!
Friday, May 20, 2005
I think I'm going to Europe for a couple weeks in Septemberrrrrrrr.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
find myself spinning in a Starbucks cup
How come he doesn't know that "I love your writing" & "Thanks" = "I want to sleep with you"?
Four weeks ago: Me: "I love your writing."
Two days ago: Him: "I love your writing."
Now if only we could remove "writing" from the equation...
I went to Starbucks today and got a grande Mint Mocha Chip Frappuccino. I reasoned that this was justified because I am slightly bitter with work right now because of some strange and often surprising changes. And because I have to work 15 hours a week while I'm taking 21 units, because there are so many new people that barely anyone is bar trained or closing trained. And that I've been working there for a year, but since I keep taking three month leaves of absences, I have yet to get a pay review. (Yes I know this last one is my fault, but let's rage together as little anarchists against the corporate machine, yes?) God, I'm on shaky moral ground lately -- I will buy at farmer's markets on Sundays from the charming boy who picks my strawberries, and then go to Vons to get my fill of bananas that a small child in Honduras probably cut off a finger picking; I work for a non-franchised corporate coffeehouse yet will buy from the most evil corporation second only to Wal-Mart in exploitation of small business.
I guess I just stay long enough to collect my $200 and pass GO. GO will be played by the San Diego International Airport tonight and ever.
I'm passing GO next weekend for some of the Northern West Coast lovin.
I hate people who don't read and people whose flaws are being assholes. People who don't read just scream "I'm stupid", particularly the ones who take pride in the fact that they don't read.
"Wordplay" was on the radio this morning. That made me smile for miles and miles.
I am currently reading:
Four Blondes by Candace Bushnell
Diary by Chuck Palahniuk
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers ( I PROMISE TO FINISH THIS SOON )
Ton Beau Capitaine by Simone Schwarz-Bart
The Beautifully Worthless by Ali Liebegott
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
I'm in love.
GAHHHHHH!!!
I wonder if our mothers had such terrible sex in their lifetime that they are punishing us with cruel and unusual remarks about the role of sex in our lives. I am deeply deeply disturbed.
Monday, May 16, 2005
I'm in the mood to make people mixes; let me know if you want one by emailing me. HA therein lies the catch. Find my email address (hint: girl) & eMail me and tell me something really good. I'll make you a mix in return, and trust me, I make great mixes.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Gotta find a way to keep from going under...
I've been incredibly stressed out the past week, and I don't see anything simmering down anytime soon.
Apparently I have to choose between finishing my photography minor and not going to DC for an internship next Spring Quarter, or dropping my photography minor and going to DC.
How the fuck do I choose?
I mean, quite honestly, I have to change three times every morning before I can even choose an outfit for the day. & don't even get me started on deciding what to eat for the day (which is probably why I've lost so much weight this year).
What would you do?
Dirty in that "you'll probably get a UTI sleeping with me" way.
The bad part about weighing 110 lbs.: it's too easy to be picked up and tossed around. & that is how I found myself twenty feet from Ludacris last Friday. He is a very little man full of racist and misogynistic tendencies, and after he shouted all the different variations of "vagina", we decided to spend the rest of the night scouting for Taco Bell instead.
I really want to make out with Alex Greenwald, he's so hot in that dirty way -- sort of like "you'll probably get a UTI sleeping with me" over "you would probably get an STD sleeping with me" sort of way; eh so lesser of two evils.
Resolutions for the rest of the Quarter:
1) I will not fail French.
2) I will not be screwed over by the Vis Dept, again.
3) I will not date anyone crazier than me.
4) I will not date anyone more boring than me. (Probably negates #4)
5) I will not get sick.
6) I will stop stressing about the future.
7) I will make a decision about my minor.
8) I will secure an internship/summer that I will enjoy.
9) I will spend more time at professors' office hours.
Exciting: next Sunday, I'm going to Otis' Summer Open House to meet with instructors and register for real art classes for this upcoming session. I asked my mom to come with me, which is cute because she's excited to and because I feel like I'm 16 again. Sort of silly, how this cycle works -- I'm going to graduate college in a few months, and here I am again going to open houses for school. And taking intro classes: Design & Element, Introduction to Graphic Design, & Introduction to Fashion Design.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
I need to talk to a lot of departments. I'm graduating early next year, I only have six classes left to take, and after talking to a few writing professors today...I don't actually want to graduate anymore. I want to stay, and work with these professors, and be an academic. With 40 hours a week with two weeks of vacation a year on one hand, and graduate school on the other -- I think I could accomplish a whole lot more by staying in school with these really great and inspiring people and writers.
The professor I'm working for this quarter invited me to take her graduate Lit class next fall; I'm working out the details of how this is possible for an undergrad to take a grad class. I think it'd be really interesting in helping me decide whether or not I want to graduate school, though I am going to stay mum on where I want to go in order not to jinx myself.
I can't make any decisions lately; and I am so so so full of words. It's all spewing out of my mouth like a stream of vomit from a very cramped stomach. My life is a bloated stomach, and this is the toilet.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
I want to do a "Places I Like" in San Diego photography set before I leave for the summer to greener (ha) work & play pastures in LA. I think I will do this when Gina is here because it is likely I'll be taking her to my favorite places in this town.
I think I'm going to try and do this for every city I live in from now on.
Um, also, I'm realizing that no one ever told me what to do if I do get job offers but in perspective they are not necessarily jobs I should have applied for/want to work in the fashion of a salaried 9 - 5, five days a week grind. How do I say "Hold on" until I hear back from all prospective employers? How the heck did I get so old that I'm being offered jobs based on resume and cover letters?
Is it failing if I just want to spend the summer going to art school and perhaps working at Anthropologie with a non-paying internship with a film producer instead? Would I be satisfied with myself that way though -- I hate retail & have avoided it thus far in my last four years of marketable labor hours.
Someone please tell me what to do with my life, kthanksbye.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Colors & The Kids
I'm working on my screenplay but my desire to sleep is nagging at me more than anything else right now. I have a phone interview tomorrow morning for one of the summer internships I applied to. Please please please don't let me make a fool of myself.
My coworker Jen & I decided that we are so having a pirate party on National Talk Like A Pirate Day this year -- but at the same time, we might have one sometime soon just because we don't want to wait until September. I'll keep you updated so you can plan accordingly ;) Don't worry, it won't happen before Memorial Day weekend in which I plan to lust at much pirate paraphernalia in San Francisco and secure a few exciting props.
I love theme parties.
Do you ever feel like sometimes you've already tumbled down the rabbit hole? There are many moments where I feel like the world is wayward in the way Douglas Adams describes in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another which states that this has already happened."
Let the geek in the pink take a stab at it...
I would like to split into 7 people -- one for each of my classes, one to work, and one to sleep/eat.
I call the sleeping/eating Ann.
I'm out of words. I swear I've reached my limit for a lifetime. After knocking out a 2,426 word feature piece documenting my last six months in addiction entitled: "Traveling is My Cocaine: Confessions of an Airport Addict", I'm physically and emotionally spent, and I'm smelly. I am still in desperate need though no condition to write a 2 - 3 page satire about my family. My family is not sad/funny, I'm not a fucking Sedaris.
Monday, May 09, 2005
It's not that we're scared, it's just that it's delicate.
I'm listening to Damien Rice's Delicate while writing a piece about how traveling is my cocaine, recounting in aching beauty the many adventures I've been on in the past year. This song is on a certain mix that certainly makes me think about the cool air slipping through my blinds and what a beautiful moment this would be to kill myself.
Don't you worry though, Gwen Stefani's Hollerback Girl just came on and I'm feeling just fine.
My head is spinning wildly, in some manner of those advanced lollipop holders in the shape of Mickey Mouse and Tinkerbell -- the kind that you can just press a button and the cherry flavored solid globular goodness will rotate rapidly and all you have to do is stick out your tongue to slowly dissolve the layers into sugar molecules and spit. Except the tongue is covering me in questions, coming from every direction. The pressure is mounting in a way that is most unpleasant, as I imagine tons of foreign saliva would be, and I'm just dissolving.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Flying Fuck
I usually don't play favorites with my things, but I bought a necklace that I LOVE. It's fairly small and therefore minimizing on the event of being found offensive just about...everywhere, since I wear it everywhere. It's silver and it says FUCK with angel wings flanking either side. I think when I learn to screenprint this summer, I'll make a T-shirt too.
Oh and I spent most of last night curled up on the floor of my bathroom crying and throwing up in the toilet. Because being sick with nodes on my throat and midterms staring at me menacingly were not enough this week. I probably have scarlet fever.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
YAY!
- the kitchen sink is fixed!
- one of my photographs is being shown at the Arles Photography Festival!
- David picked up my Sunday shift, so more Mom time!
- NOT SCHEDULED FOR SUN GOD!
Friday, May 06, 2005
You're everybody's satellite, I wish you were mine.
Sometimes (most of the time), I really just want to be sitting in the passenger seat of a seafoam green Honda Civic, listening to the Counting Crows and crossing bridges with beautiful colonial homes along the bay. Marking a destination in the city that never sleeps, I want to be sitting next to one of my favorite people in the whole entire world, in which passing deer as roadkill and taking the wrong exit into timewarp New Jersey towns are life. Everything is okay -- more than okay, actually beautiful. It feels like I can breathe again, and I feel like both of us are recharging our batteries just from the static electricity between us made of laughter and singing outloud and outrageous outbursts --
"My butt hurts."
"That's cause you're sitting on it."
"I always sit on my butt!"
Soon, maybe everything will be okay. If not forever, at least for a little while. For seven little days to recharge the batteries of two not-so-little girls with problems too big for their swollen hearts.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
I'm addicted to Airborne. I almost want to take it everyday even after my cold gets better, recreationally.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Wild times in Pacific Beach
The time is 9pm on an idle Wednesday evening. I am innocently minding my own business, walking to my car in a pink knit coat so that I could purchase some medication for this ridiculous cold, when I casually gaze towards the window of my new next door neighbors whom I met yesterday. Brenn, Whitney, and Jason. (Because the Lord hates me, I am sure). Their apartment is a reflection of ours, and I ponder to myself what they put in what is Alice's window seat in our apartment, and as it turns out, they put naked bodies there.
Now, I'm used to hearing neighbors and roommates have sex, but I most definitely have not seen anyone have sex (outside porn, of course).
This is a vast improvement from furiously rocking-eyes-closed-to-acoustic-hymns bible studies in the living room or old ladies who take their pet turtles on walks.
Baby, I'm Bad News
I am excited to find out that Jenny Lewis is 5'1".
I think we shall start a planet of peanuts very soon of enormously talented and ridiculously adorable girls very soon.
I am really really sick; first time I've been sick since last summer.
I wore my black peacoat for the first time in two months -- I realized it when I reached into my pocket and pulled out a boarding pass. I love and hate coat pockets. Mine are filled with buttons or candy wrappers or if I'm really lucky, twenty dollar bills; or sometimes, they are filled with terrible nostalgia and bad memories about things you'd rather not relive. It's funny that when things happen, they happen all at once.
Now I am going to skip class to do a lot of make up homework, write a bunch of cover letters, and send that message into the universe.
Monday, May 02, 2005
There's no need in ever going, cause I'm better off never knowing
I'm really disappointed with Tristan Prettyman's studio version of Love, Love, Love. They took a totally sweet, pretty little surf song and laid it over this hyper commercialized track and turned it into whatever supermegastar hot shot single they're hoping to send her on the pop star trail with. There is no soul or hope or love like there was in the original; nothing for me to latch onto and this is one of my favorite songs in the whole entire universe. I don't think I have ever heard the lyrics speak to me as much as it does in this song -- and you know my love affair with words. Now it sounds like a cheap version of some nineties solo female artist. SUCK.
we are all lovers and takers
breaking hearts to make the papers
she wants love, I told her to stop trying
cause the reasons for her tears
aren't worth crying
this life is a beautiful one
and though I seen it comin' undone
well I know most definitely
tthat it all works out the way it's meant to be
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