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A girl living, loving and writing in Los Angeles.
August Listening
August Reading
Favorite Places
Copyright 2001 - 2008 by Ann, unless otherwise noted.
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Saturday, April 30, 2005
How To Be A Domestic Goddess
I am exhausted.
I went home last night to see my family. I bought my mom a pair of polka dot keds (which I also have) as a belated birthday present. Then I sewed all night crafting something that was more awesome in my head, but since it is still to be sent in a package to Gina, I will refrain from posting it. Once she receives it, then I will put up a picture.
How are we feeling about the photologs, by the way? Is the illustrated guide to my life interesting, lame, or distracting?
Tonight I forsaked a dance party because I am exhausted. Instead, I baked banana-raspberry-strawberry bread (to your right), did the dishes, cleaned our bathroom, and watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. I am terribly domestic, and probably terribly boring for someone my age.
Perhaps to redeem myself a bit, this was all in procrastination from working on my photography project and/or studying for a French exam on Wednesday, or a million other things I need to be thinking about which involve consuming most of my time, energy, and effort to produce very little to show for it except trudging through this little trip around the sun. But to stay in tone with my New Years' Resolution, I'm going to check check check that I am taking my time and enjoying the sun kissing my nose.
BTW Shauna is the greatest friend/future roommate ever. Besides holding my hand in the waiting room, she brought me Gerber daisies to make the trip a little less terrifying. LOVE HER and can't wait to live with her in our completely spotless and dustfree apartment in September.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Calling the Quirky
Tell me about a relationship quirk, or a strange relationship.
It can be your current relationship, something in your past relationship, something you make up, something in your friends' relationship, something you read about/saw.
You may end up in the film I'm writing, which is currently lacking that big oomph. An aspect of the film involves a boy and a girl in a really fucked up relationship, and the harder they try to make it better the more fucked up it gets.
My second screenplay...oooh I'm all quivery inside from excitement. I have the addiction to this. Screenwriting is perfect parts of loving words, prose meets poetry, the right industry and anal structure for me.
I've also restructured my mind: all my bad experiences lately and in the past five years with relationships and places is an investment in my writing career. The worse the experience, the better the interest rate on return. I think this is the healthiest my mind has been in a long time.
Ann & Hansel XIII
I get distracted so easily. Alice's snake, Spotiottidopaliciousloveangelmusicbaby, wouldn't eat his mice this week, so Alice called me out to watch them drinking water because I find the mice adorable. I'm very proud of myself. Since moving into this house, I have become rodent-friendly, arachnid-brave, and snake-tolerant.
Alice brings home two mice every week for Spot to eat, and I name them all Hansel & Gretel. I think this will make Hansel the XIII since I've moved in.
Stolen Centerpiece!
I went to the Hawaiian Club Luau this past weekend because Kira and Shauna are my favorite extremely talented hula dancing dashboard dolls. Trinh & I stole the centerpieces from the show, which is serving nicely now on my dresser as a paperweight for my thick stack of magazines I have yet to read because of the reason*.
*The reason = school & work.
Psst psst. Is anybody out there?
Monday, April 25, 2005
Mr. A-Z
I think that when Jason Mraz's new album, Mr. A-Z drops on July 16, it will make my whole entire summer.
For lovers and friends who have strayed, this clip will bring you back home.
Listening carefully to Wordplay, which makes me the happy because it might be the best song I've heard all year, I look up wistfully at this picture from 2000 when I first met the boy with a voice from San Diego by way of Virginia. My best friend in high school is in the picture with me, and though it was five years ago and all parties photographed have gone so far since, it still brings me home.
This music is home to me.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
She says, "Hey man, nobody here can hear my song."
I think I look about twelve years old.
YES 10 hours of sleep in 72 hours!
Saturday, April 23, 2005
"Don't Give Up On Me" by Solomon Burke
Wow. I hate that one song can dissipate a month's worth of building a fortress.
But, that wasn't what I meant to write about. I wanted to comment on Destiny's Child's Girl, because I really love that song and after reading Clarity's entry tonight, I realized why.
My life is so absolutely amazing because of the girl friends who have chosen to love me. For all those endless nights of hugs to cure tears, for coming over at 3am, for staying up til 5am listening to me talk about the same thing over and over, for sleeping next to me when my bed is way too expansive -- for inciting uninhibited laughter, for provoking unshakeable self-esteem, for calling just to leave me a three minute voicemail message, telling me five (beautiful) nonsequitors. For eating carne asada fries at 3am, for gossiping about every single boy, for judging privately, for supporting and being supported. For doing amazing things and being amazing women who inspire me, who grow with me, and who keep my heart safe. For being more adventurous. I have some really amazing girl friends and I wouldn't be able to live without them, literally. I realized this when I took this picture of my nightstand and pretty much everything was given to me from a friend -- click on it for notes.
Not to disclude my boy friends either of course, who are pretty much equally awesome.
Hang in there baby. Sooner or later, I know I'll get it right. Please don't give up on me.
Friday, April 22, 2005
Breakfast at Tiffany's
"Okay, life's a fact.
People DO fall in love,
people DO belong to each other,
because that's the only chance
anyone's got for real happiness."
Thursday, April 21, 2005
I don't want to be the filler if the void is solely yours.
Life has been highly chaotic lately. Dizzying highs, devastating lows. I haven't missed a class in two weeks, and I've been working 20+ hours a weeks. I was doing well on sleep too, until this past weekend. Now I am so craving a delicious twelve hour chunk. I applied to four more summer internships tonight; and I have made tentative decisions to take two classes at the Art Center over the summer as well because it is the only credible art school in LA offering summer session. I also should finish my screenplay, two photography projects, two french plays, three french papers, and a magazine in four weeks because the last two weeks of the quarter I will be neither here nor there. Well. I will be in San Francisco & Portland, then my twin sister will be here and I will be consumed in the greatness that is the world when we come together.
It's really twisted that with a few words, I can allow myself to feel so fucking small and flawed. I feel like a failure at everything I do: I can't write, I can't make art, I'm too short, I'm too pudgy, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not thin enough...I can go on, but I won't sicken you to the degree of how terrible this gets. It's like I honestly tell myself that if I were perfect, then I wouldn't be treated like this, that I wouldn't be going through this.
I can't believe that one asshole can invalidate a lifetime's worth of work, of hope, of friends, of accomplishments. I don't understand what is wrong in my brain that I can think that my worth is weighed on someone's value scale in which I am no more, no less than a used tissue crumpled in a pile of tissues where there is no end, no beginning -- and particularly no need when there is sunshine in someone's life. I know that this is all logically invalid, but I cannot stop from feeling this way.
Maybe like Annie suggested, I should just do heroin instead. At least I'd get high for awhile from that secret behavior, instead of terrifyingly low every single time.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Vegas Lust!
I really miss Las Vegas! I really want to go again! Soon! Who's coming?!
I miss shopping with low sales tax, I miss tacky animatronic shows, I miss gelato and perusing Europe just by walking down the street in dry humid weather that defies logic!
The last time I went was two years ago when Danielle and I followed my parents to the Fashion Convention where we looted just about everything, resulting in my massive collection of glossy magazines, pens, totes, T-shirts and thongs.
I MISS VEGAS! I LOVE SHINY OBJECTS AND FOOD!
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Walking on stilts
Last week one of my students in the poetry class I'm tutoring told me, "You're a really great TA."
I almost cried.
I've been receiving emails from 826 LA inviting me to tutor events. I received one this week about a party for the tutors where they're buying us drinks and appetizers. I'm guessing this means I have been accepted? Funny thing -- I don't live in LA (yet). This is the least amount of effort I've ever had to exert to be offered a free drink.
Some things on the edge of my mind:
1) "masturbating to consumerism"
2) crushes on boys in class
3) cutting my own hair
4) chaos
5) revealing too much
6) the anatomy of heartbreak
7) too much to do in this life, but it is so good
8) I Love Boys With Grey Eyes.
Monday, April 18, 2005
Love is a pomegranate candle.
This Life.
Whitney bought me a really great tuna pasta salad today for lunch. I love her.
I've been listening to a lot of This American Life; it started because I had to listen to a few episodes for my media writing class and now it is entertaining and stimulating. Particularly inspiring to a writer.
Forty minutes of sleep between Saturday and Sunday; really great party and then really big crisis when I came home as my (other) roommate's boyfriend punched her in the face. What the fuck. Oh, then 6am work. And he came over the next morning (while I was at work), and apparently everything is okay -- or they are "working through things". How is it that one can punch another in the face, and they can "work through things", whereas two friends who get in a fight suddenly have nothing to say to each other? I'm scared.
I feel so jaded.
If anyone knows about/lives in/is fanatical about Portland, please tell me what I should do when I'm there.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Back In The Saddle
I've temporarily fixed the site so that I can keep talking about myself, and you masochists and voyeurs out there can keep reading to fill ten seconds of your day. Mostly I've just put up the old layout with a bit more pizzazz, I really like this new version of it so it may stay awhile as long as we all behave together -- there are a lot of kinks to be worked through, so venture at your own risk. It should be fixed slowly. But I just spent three nerdy hours reading up on recoding. Now that is self-obsession. And geeking out.
But thanks to Gina, I have a shirt that claims that I am indeed the geek in the pink.
OH and I worked out a new archives page that has all the links to archives ever for annplified.com in one convenient location. Go forth with great caution; I was terribly dramatic & boring for all of high school, and terribly cryptic for the first two years of college. Now I am just terribly boring. The past is very scary, especially in such prolific catalogue.
I have yet to work out index pages for 2005, but I must sleep now as there are cupcake boobs to be made, barista slave labor to attend to, and lots of reading and writing to be done tomorrow.
Please tell me what you think.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
The very idea that it is incredibly fortuitous that any of us actually meet each other, much less get to know each other on a much deeper/intimate level makes my palms sweat and my heart race. How lucky it is to be brought to moments where I will receive cards from friends I didn't even know were thinking about me; where I am a few centimeters from your skin that smells like pomegranates and reminds me of infinity;
Who am I to let that all go?
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
How The West Was Won
I'm going to San Francisco and Portland over Memorial Day Weekend. Then I will have successfully conquered all the major cities of the West Coast.
Let me know if you want to have a brief love affair.
Merry Unbirthday to You!
I am overloaded with birthdays. I am trying to sneakily find a way to attain the perfect present for my mom, eventually put together a fun package for my best friend (it is hard to get presents when you have known someone for twelve years).
This weekend I am baking boobie cupcakes for another friend's birthday, and saliciously planning to steal some kisses. It will be good. I miss stolen kisses.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Reasons I Love Spring Quarter
1) Studying...takes place at the beach.
2) ...or the pool.
3) Working out...takes place at the beach.
4) ...or the pool.
5) Being tan makes you look thinner.
6) Fun classes!
7) Summer is rapidly approaching, promising to take you away just as you're getting sick of the school grind.
8) Skirts.
9) Sunsets at 8pm.
10) Great bands come into town/start tours.
Big Birthday Weekend!
Happy Birthday to my mom today!! Hurray for proving that I, too, will still look 25 when I am actually 47!
Also, Happy Birthday to my best friend Cathy! (Belated because it was Friday, but not so belated because I actually told her on Friday). Hurray for turning 21 the right way -- so perfectly scandalous! Cathy's birthday also means two things: (1) we've been friends for twelve years, and (2) I am officially the last person on earth to turn 21.
Okay, maybe that's not true because here are some pictures from Kira (20) & Ruthy's (19) double birthday party last night (theme: Drop It Like It's Hot, though I wasn't feeling ghetto fabulous so I am the suck).
Kira LOVES banana cream pie!
Kira & me!
Shauna being ghetto fabulous J. Lo.
For Kira: "because no one ever takes pictures of the bottoms!"
That's hot.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
I'm Wide Awake, it's 2 AM.
I'm exhausted yet I have the hardest time making myself go to bed. Many people who have been around me when it's sleepytime will vouch for this -- even though I am passing out, I have the hardest time actually getting under the covers. I'd rather pass out unconscious in my clothes on top of the duvet.
At any rate, Sin City is amazing. More on that later, when I'm more eloquent. But damn. Now I'm going to go work out and probably get a mohawk. I love Clive Owen. I love that his relationship with Rosario Dawson's character is a reflection of every single one of my relationships:
"I love you always and never."
I don't want to think about the summer because so many people are asking me things; I don't know where I'm going to get a job, if I get one, I don't know what I really want, what I really really want. I know that I did find my Spice Girls CD sometime over spring break, and I know I have it in my car.
Perhaps I will tutor at 826 LA; perhaps I will hop on a plane to China with my friend Chloe (who is white as French-American can be) and teach English. So much and yet nothing is all going on at the same time. I think I want to move to San Francisco and work for 826 Valencia for awhile after I graduate. So maybe I will take the advice of the Sunscreen song, and live & leave New York before I get hard, live & leave San Francisco before I get soft.
This life is so fucking beautiful.
Just out of curiousity, you can comment anonymously if you'd like, where are you from? Yes you, reading voyeuristically right now. Please respond, even if I already know you/have met your parents/have fondled your delicates or vice versa/pet-sat for you/blacklisted you. Thank you.
P.S. I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning is also very very good.
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