Saturday, December 28, 2002
06:11 PM
"Here With Me" by Dido
And.......I'm done with people for today. Word of advice: don't go to Disneyland during the winter holiday season. You will thank me.Having an infatuation at the work place = good for my paycheck, good for releasing endorphins, bad on my sleeping hours.
Do you want to see a new layout or new content? Leave me one & let me know.
Tuesday, December 24, 2002
02:42 AM
"Secret" by Howie Day
So the big fat man in the red suit visited me early tonight, just as I was getting off work. My first night back at work, and it was dangerously eventful. In a great big grin sort of way. The kind man sent me two very friendly, very adorable spirits - one from the past, and one from the future. Cryptic enough, eh?
Simpler: two boys: one I knew from last summer and did not expect to meet, and one I just met tonight who was incredibly friendly with a big warm midwest grin (freshly plucked from Idaho, of all places). Merry Christmas to me :) Kind of weird coincidences where you land when you toss fate into the air.
And Merry Christmas Eve to you.
Saturday, December 21, 2002
03:15 AM
"Didn't Want To Say Goodbye" by Ari Hest
Ahhh I talked to a handful of good friends from school today. I miss them all! There's no one to play with me at 3 AM here!!
02:10 AM
"Fascinate You" by Ari Hest
Since I'm still up...To Do List for Winter Break
1. Call John
2. Email Gina
3. Send Gina package
4. Work
5. Clean room
6. Finish 1 painting
7. Pick up paintings at Clarinel's house
8. Call Lisa
9. Spend time with all my friends
10. Eat copious amounts of food
11. Sleep more!
12. Spend time with grandma
13. Spend time with Lucy & Pepper
14. Send in scholarship application
15. Find someway to see Ari Hest play Jan. 21
Am I forgetting anything?
Friday, December 20, 2002
11:41 PM
"Disease" by Matchbox Twenty
I've been doing some thinking and surfing lately. I've been reading moldy old UBBs and livejournals of the high queens of the domain world circa 1999. It sounds so cheesy, I know, but it seems so weird that it was a reality to everyone at the time. And like everyone else, I've grown up and moved on into the real world since then. It was an interesting time for powerful people, with a mysterious fall. It could be an episode of "Behind the Music". "Behind the Domains". Tragic, anorexic, suicidal 12 year olds with too much time on their hands and HTML pouring out of their fingertips. Anyway, back to modern day reality. I realized the internet is a barren place...all those thoughtful, witty, insightful domains nearly obsolete as their owners grow up and substitute friends and drinks for pixellated text and HTML. I think I'll make a few changes to the site: a new layout and daily photos. How does that sound? I like those. I stole the idea from Adam.
But all these changes coming next year of course. Always, aren't they? Until I get back to school and back on my new computer. I'm pretty sure this one is going to blow up soon. With the past 5 years of files and my life with it. That's the way things go, I suppose.
I have a headache. I saw Gangs of New York, very Oscar-worthy. I'm going to work again soon, I miss it so. I love it :) There are a lot of things I need to do. But I'm beaming right now because I found out my grades for the quarter. Hurrah me :)
Tuesday, December 17, 2002
10:17 PM
"The Boy Is Gone" by Jason Mraz
I'm home. I'm happy. I'm warm and cozy in my flannel pjs. There have been parties and drinks and pictures and confessions. All in good fun :) Have a happy merry holiday!
Thursday, December 12, 2002
03:16 PM
"She's Losing It" by Belle & Sebastian
Grr going crazy going crazy going crazy. So much to study, soooo sleepy. >: (What if I'm making a mistake with Mraz over Semi-Formal? >: (
I'm highly caffeinated.
I'm having weird dreams the few hours I do sleep. You're in them.
Okay, no not really. But cute boys are. Boys who are all in love with someone else.
Man, even my dreams suck.
Wednesday, December 11, 2002
03:31 AM
"No Stopping Us" by Jason Mraz
Okay, dilemma solved. I talked to a few people, and five friends are going to go see Mraz with me on Feb. 1 in SD. Are you coming?
02:22 AM
"Strange Condition" by Pete Yorn
Three finals starting in 6 hours. Why am I not asleep? Because I still have two articles to read and two outlines to do. The sad thing is that I didn't even slack this time, I've been studying all weekend. It feels like it's been forever since we started studying Saturday. I'm ready to leave, please!I think I'm terribly excited to go home, sleep in my own bed, and eat copious amounts of food my mom will make for me (I've decided this). Esther, one of my suitemates, might be coming home with me for the weekend, and then a few other friends are going to drive over so we can go party Monday night. It's time. Sounds like a terribly fun weekend already - no school, no books, no finals.
BTW I think someone up there must really really really hate me. Jason Mraz is playing the same night that the school is having a semi-formal. I can't decide what to go to. What would you do?
Monday, December 9, 2002
12:57 AM
"I Kissed A Girl" by Jill Sobule
I'm so so so sorry about not returning phone calls, emails, letters, packages, etc. of the sort. I love them all and it brightens my day everytime to receive something of the sort - you don't know how much they mean to me. I'll be responding within the next couple days, in between finals studying - and I have a lot to say. I love you :)
If you wish to add to my list of people who send me love, coffee@. We'll laugh, we'll cry, we'll commiserate. Maybe we can make out too...we'll see how things go. ;)
Sunday, December 8, 2002
02:27 AM
"Satisfaction" by Britney Spears
So I've been studying and doing work today...dude my head hurts. Finals are not fun.I was talking to my suitemate about boyfriends, boys, and relationships today and spilled about the things I've been thinking about. I think that for right now in my life, there's only a "Mr. Right Now" - as in, someone who is perfect for you at this time in your life to help you move and grow. I think that when you finally meet the person who is your match in every way - the hypothetical "Mr. Right" - then that's who you should marry. The sad thing is that rarely do people find this "Mr. Right" because they're so hung up on "Mr. Right Now" without even realizing. My use and abuse tactic as of late will prove useful to this...
And also, I had better relationships when I was 6 years old than I do now. I had the cutest guy (a tall boy with blonde hair and blue eyes, ahh my dream boy) in the class as my boyfriend in first grade - he beat up boys who were picking on me on the playground, and he kissed me on top of the head when he saw me in the morning. It was adorable.
Man. Why were my relationships back then so much better? I was such a stud!
P.S. Thanks for the great emails - I less than three you guys & will reply soon :)
Friday, December 6, 2002
04:31 AM
"Sleeping To Dream" by Jason Mraz
Second all-nighter of the year currently in session...Then again, after all that lesbian porn I don't think I want to sleep.
Thursday, December 5, 2002
02:19 AM
"A Sorta Fairytale" by Tori Amos
I'm staring down the barrel of Finals week and not enough time.I'm at the mercy of a 10 page paper on a movie I have yet to see.
I'm fumbling through the next week and a half, and then sitting at home glazed over and sleeping for three weeks after that.
Then it all starts again. And I'm staring down the barrel of 21 units next quarter.
But I'm happy, because everything is okay (with him). And I'm that much braver.
Highlights of my day: my PoliSci prof. handed us the final questions to give us time to research, Cameron took me to In&Out for late night dining goods, and Neil sent me a HIlarious picture of myself. I do mean HI-larious.
Wednesday, December 4, 2002
12:21 AM
"Leave Me Alone" by Natalie Imbruglia
It's warm in here. I have to read 500 more pages in The Invisible Man (Ellison, not Wells). I feel flushed and I feel a zit breaking in.There's a lot to do. A lot less to think about. I can't seem to tear myself away from one concept or the other. I'm talking psychobabble right now. Let me start over:
The thermostat is on 80 because I like it nice and toasty. My roommate put up Christmas lights in our room, they're really cute. I put my heart on hold because I'm starting to study for finals. Yes, I'm acknowledging that they're happening next week. I've been on the phone a lot more since I got my hands free wire...and since other situations, but that's another story for another day.
Email me if you want to talk to me about anything. I'm a book sitting on your shelf. Say something cheerful, I'm going to need it.
I'm going to go back to reading now. I'm feeling feverish, and that ain't good.
P.S. FUCK YOU.
Tuesday, December 3, 2002
03:24 AM
"Leaving Town" by Dexter Freebish
Why am I so freakishly bad at relationships with boys? Why don't any of them have an attention span with me? Why is it that I always find the nice boys so everything feels like it's my fault? Why am I so dumb?@#$*#*&@!!! I'm so bad at relationships: this isn't going to work out. I can't make it work with anyone - and no one wants to make it work with me. SO STOP IT. I DON'T DESERVE IT. And sickly, you know it.
Monday, December 2, 2002
04:02 AM
"Big Yellow Taxi" (covered) by the Counting Crows
I'm still up and I need to be up again in about 6 hours. My roommate just got home and we were talking about how she has Thanksgiving asian style. I've never even thought of Thanksgiving asian style - my mom has always worked her hardest to be her whitest esp. around Thanksgiving. Not that we ever deny the asianness - we embrace it like the turkey embraced the stuffing...mmm. I wish I had leftovers...but no, I'm back at school again. I left my washcloth, my blowdryer, and my cookies+banana bread at home. Bahhh humbug. It's okay...because Amy is going to teach me how to make latkas this week. I'm terribly excited.Being home was really good...I got a lot of sleep and I ate a lot - I didn't realize I was missing out on so much sleep. I saw a lot of my friends in bunches, I wish I had the time to see them individually and talk one on one because I love them individually too, but it was all great. I miss them a lot.
By the way, I forgot to mention what I was thankful for this holiday: that would have to be everything. I'm thankful for my family for keeping this machine running, my friends from home who always remind me of who I am, my new friends at school who I feel like I've known for a million years now, my dogs who love me no matter what, Mraz for making the soundtrack to my life, and just....everyone. I love everyone right now. Do I sound drunk? I'm not...I'm pretty tired though so I'm going to crash. I just thought that if those were to be my final words, it should be: I love everyone - because it's true.
