Thursday, July 31, 2003
01:21 AM
"Once Around The Block" by Badly Drawn Boy
Took a little picture to show you what my nights are like.
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
02:06 PM
"No Doubling Back" (live) by Jason Mraz
Finally content update: put up 7 color photographs printed in Spring Quarter 03. These were my first color shots that I ever printed myself, and I'm proud of them. When I get back the final project I did on coffeehouses, I'll scan those as well (those are beautiful). These are just fun. Please comment!
Sunday, July 27, 2003
11:57 PM
"Shy" by Ani DiFranco
I danced with floating feet across many crosswalks in gorgeous and dirty LA today. I visited one of my very best friends from school, who lives in the heart of a very lovely LA neighborhood. Her house is amazing, full of amazing artifacts of life and arranged in the old crazy cat lady way. I learned how to cut stained glass.We walked through the Farmer's Market, which I quickly fell in love with at first glance. We had falafel in a lush Meditterianian garden tucked in between Jewish bakeries and gaudily painted boutiques on Fairfax. We walked down Melrose, crowded with beautiful and eclectic people, dressed up on a Sunday afternoon in LA as is expected. I did some shopping, and I left LA satisfied. Satisfied and in love. I felt just like Carrie Bradshaw (circa end of 4th season, with the short flippy hair). I reaffirmed my city girl status; instead of camping I went Melrosing.
Anger and resentment of last night quickly passed - it was interesting and things are turning in their own way. Fate has a twisted plan, and I get to catch a glimpse once in awhile.
My mom has taken up watching Sex and the City with me. Except my mom has an annoying habit of talking during the show; I can accept talking once the credits are rolling, but I like to savor the artistic filmic quality of this particular show. My mom questions why Burger came back in the first place - when the real question is why did he leave again. That's when I realized she comes from a different generation of relationships. After every episode, my mom starts in on her morality lecture - a way to deflect the imperfect portrayal of modern day women I suppose. She says that relationships don't work out all the time now because people are too self-sufficient and self-involved. The fallacy in her argument is, why not be too self-sufficient? What is the purpose of depending on someone else, of investing in someone else's dreams, when we live in a society in which everything is ephemereal? Relationships are as good as forever means tomorrow, or "when I get sick of you". Why invest so much of yourself into a relationship, when you can invest so much of yourself in yourself? You will be with yourself much longer than you will ever be in a relationship; people leave, people divorce, people have change of hearts, people lie, people die. How did relationships evolve so much since one generation? What is love all about now?
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
03:37 PM
"If You Like Pina Coladas" by Jimmy Buffett
How did I learn to be so self-punishing in order to be self-rewarding?
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
03:53 PM
"Imaginary Love" by Rufus Wainwright
Update: Hanson is sold out in LA.Bah.
Monday, July 21, 2003
08:50 PM
"Lucky and Unhappy" by Air
I hate my job. I hate that fucking institution so much. I hate the economy for sucking, I hate President Bush for not being elected and being living proof of why no one voted for him, I hate fallacious wars for fictitious reasons. I hate the crashing economy, I hate finding summer jobs, I hate settling for the path of least resistance, I hate my job!I am so annoyed with my parents and the weather and the ants - my house is under siege by ants and they've taken my bathroom for their own. I can't even take a fucking nap or shower without interruption by my mother for the most inane reasons.
I think I'm might go camping this weekend just to fucking spite work and call in for three days. Ha! Me, camping!
Sunday, July 20, 2003
03:40 PM
"Amazing" by Josh Kelley
Happy Birthday Adam!
Saturday, July 19, 2003
12:27 PM
"Follow You" by Josh Kelley
Can someone explain to me why I can't buy tickets for Hanson at the Roxy online? I hate Ticketmaster so much. Is it sold out or am I going to have to go to LA to get them?Onto a larger subject: a recent trend in my life is a newfound appreciation for what I have in my life. I visited some friends in the Inland Empire, and I've realized that where my parents live is not so bad. I feel like a huge city girl compared to them growing up in that town in the Inland Empire. I'm so happy to see our malls, and our streets lined with businesses and chain stores. It feels so much more alive now that I've seen what it's like to be...in the country, in the California sense I suppose. Well in my friend Tim's words, "That was not the country, the country is at least beautiful. That was just brown!"
I also have a newfound appreciation for those San Diego coffee shows where music is much more personal and intimate, and personalities are much more personal and intimate. Egos need not fill stadiums, and music need not exploit the audience.
That is all. Appreciate what you've got. Unless you live in the Inland Empire.
Friday, July 18, 2003
01:05 PM
"Come Back To Bed" by John Mayer
I saw Maroon 5, Counting Crows, and John Mayer last night in one big orgy of music underneath the glittering LA nightline.I have to say I don't dig stadium concerts anymore; too impersonal and too expensive for the whole experience to be beneficial. Not that the show wasn't good - they all did an amazing show, but it was one of the first concerts I've ever walked out of uninspired.
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
01:29 PM
"Sucker" by John Mayer
What turns you on?
01:05 AM
"Crash Into Me" by Dave Matthews Band
I felt like Cinderella tonight; closing up a shop by myself without going to the ball when the time came. But no fairy godmother for me tonight; my lead let me off early instead. After extending me. Sort of a catch 22, I suppose.Instead of seeing my prince at the ball, as the story would go, I was stuck closing the store. But I still saw my ghost. And my cheeks still burn from the encounter. The thing with seeing ghosts is that there are ones you see day after day because they live on your floor, and you become numb to seeing them like you become numb to the thrill of rollercoasters after a long day at Six Flags; then there are ones that you see once in awhile, much to your disgust, and leave you with nothing more than a brief wave of nausea; and then there are ones that you encounter when you least expect, the ones that catch you off guard and leave you flushed and fluttering. The ones that are still real.
Monday, July 14, 2003
11:37 PM
"The Remedy" by Jason Mraz
Generally I am over this song, due to media kill. But one of my best friends just found out her mom has cancer, and this instigated a heartbreaking spiral of the concept of mortality and reality in my head. Ironically, all I was thinking as I was getting off work tonight was that "If I were to die now, I don't have a boyfriend to be sad over me. I would die single and alone." So selfish and petty it seems now.
It's not having what you want.
It's wanting what you have.
P.S. New John Mayer album in September. Finally.
Sunday, July 13, 2003
08:59 PM
"Heart and Shoulder" by Heather Nova
If I were a...month I would be: November
day of the week I would be: Sunday
time of day I would be: late evening
planet I would be: Mercury
direction I would be: West
piece of furniture I would be: a Tiffany lamp
liquid I would be: tea
tree, I would be: willow
flower/plant, I would be: a stargazer lily; my mom says an orchid (high maintanence)
kind of weather, I would be: beachy: breezy & sunny
mythical creature, I would be: a pixie
musical instrument, I would be: an acoustic Taylor
color, I would be: red
emotion, I would be: inspired joy
vegetable, I would be: a chili pepper
sound, I would be: a scat
car, I would be: a red jetta
song, I would be: "bitch" by meredith brooks
book, I would be written by: Helen Fielding
food, I would be: a small fry ;)
place, I would be: Manhattan
material, I would be: 800 thread count cotton
taste, I would be: sweet
scent, I would be: roses and vanilla
body part I would be: your hands
subject in school I would be: English
cartoon character I would be: the squirrel from Ice Age
shape I would be: spherical
number I would be: 3
(stolen from jinra)
TIME FOR SEX AND THE CITY!!
08:47 PM
"How Soon Is Now" by the Smiths
I've been filling those summer days with French and infatuation, those summer evenings with work and love. How have you been spending yours?I'm watching a lot of Sex and the City. Especially now that I bought all four seasons - because I am horribly compulsive.
I wish I would stop being so fickle, because it makes life really hard for me. I can't decide what I want to do, and I've changed my major three times. And with my OCD, I've planned out three different paths to take through college depending on which major and minors I want to have.
I had the strangest dream last night, about a boyfriend I was dating (who resembled my first grade boyfriend and had a familiar name). His ex girlfriend was insane, and had someone murder him in a bathtub. It was very artistic in my mind - like a film. The way my point of view swept from viewer to girlfriend, from the arch of the vaccumn tube spurting out toxic household cleaning liquids into the bleeding gorged eyes of my now deceased boyfriend. She (the ex girlfriend) was sitting next to the bathtub crying; he was sitting in the bathtub bleeding and dying. My mother told me his mother wasn't sad about it - and his mother turned out to be my aunt and the boyfriend turned into my cousin Jason.
I woke up emotionally exhausted.
Friday, July 11, 2003
08:11 PM
"Amazing" by Josh Kelly
I'm doing it. I am reconciliating with a long term relationship in which I had been dumped in an abrupt, jilted manner. Without rhyme or reason; and very much without warning. I was shocked, frustrated, and depressed for weeks. But even after all that pain it put me through, I am willing to open my heart to trust again.I am getting back together with greymatter.
We're going to try and work things out, together. You and me and greymatter. (Between you and me, I'm only using greymatter for the comments feature).
I plan on backing up every entry in my own form of archives, as greymatter has figured out some glitch in itself in its archives. But please do comment on the recent entries.
Thanks.
P.S. All previous July entries can still be found in 2003 archives, where these entries will soon find themselves a home as well.
