Friday June 27, 2003
11:01 PM
"Rock With You" by Michael Jackson
I love Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle. It's the gorgeous bubble gum fun I like to have. It's a little strange that the character names
read like my ex files. A little too close for comfort.
Wednesday June 25, 2003
7:25 PM
"You Belong To Me Now" by The Candy Butchers
Je suis les cheveux noirs et corts! For the first time in my life, I have short hair.
And I cut off my rattail of 6 years (for those of you who know).
It's time for change. And living up to the idea of "life is short, take lots of risks, make lots of mistakes and make yourself happy".
12:04 AM
"My Stupid Mouth" by John Mayer
This kills me:
"THE O.C., otherwise known as Orange County, California, is an idyllic paradise - a wealthy, harbor-front community where everything and
everyone appears to be perfect. But beneath the surface is a world of shifting loyalties and identities, of kids living secret lives, hidden
from their parents, and of parents living secret lives, hidden from their children."
Tuesday June 24, 2003
3:24 PM
"Unfold" by Jason Mraz
Bonjour, je m'appelle Ann. Je suis d'California. Comment allez vous?
Two days of French and I am making like a croissant and baking. Um, that metaphor did not make much sense.
I don't care, because the sun is shining. I have a room full of boxes, a job, and french homework. I have an appointment for a haircut;
for the first time in my life I am going to cut my hair short. Now if only the hairdresser could also cut off ten pounds.
Updated reading list. As if I would be reading anything other than Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix right now.
Sunday June 22, 2003
1:04 PM
"Galaxy" by Jason Mraz
When I go back to work, the first thing I'm going to buy with my paycheck are
these.
I am in a musical slump right now, I'm finding nothing inspiring: nothing to dance to, nothing to dream to, nothing to write to, nothing to love to. It is very frustrating.
Perhaps becauase music is always the soundtrack to my life, like it is for many people. I can't sleep without music on. And like to most people, music is a very personal thing to me. At the same time
music is about community and I like to share my finds with the rest of the world, like how I've been pushing Mr. Mraz to readers for years.
That's why I like to add a soundtrack to each entry; it's not about music snobbery because I would make the worst music snob. I think I have a few friends who can attest for my somewhat lacking knowledge on the history of music.
I stick to my safe little underground coffeeshops and occasional mellow british boys and screaming icelandic girls, and I am a happy happy girl. The soundtracks just set the mood of the entry for me, maybe if you read it while listening to the song, it would flow a little better.
Although I really don't write the whole entry in the duration of one song. But that's the most indepth I'm going to go in about my soundtrack. Each song has a different meaning at different times to me; some more personal and some completely aesthetic.
And that is all I'm going to say about music to me.
I'm excited for the Sex and the City Season 6 premiere tonight!
Wednesday June 18, 2003
1:18 AM
"Cocoon" by Jack Johnson
I know exactly what I'm doing.
Doesn't that sound damn scary? How many college students can say that about their lives much less their futures? Don't I intimdate you with my self confidence?
Or can you see right through me? So I don't know exactly what I'm doing, but I know what I'm doing. I never realized this until I came home and
my parents suddenly slapped all these rules onto me - rules I have never seen before in my teenaged/high school years. A little strange to have them pop up in my
newly emancipated years.
The party was really fantastic for my first one. Roughly 18 people were in my house at one period in time; all run by little old me. About 7 people slept strewn throughout
the first floor of my house. I love my friends; I was so worried because my parents were being neurotic, that I forgot I have amazing friends. We laughed,
we danced, we met new people, and of course what's a party without hot boy on boy on boy action? (Pictures later). I would say I miss my friends,
but with all the parties and get togethers planned in the near future, I can't help but grin from ear to ear on getting my fix of them.
I'm going to dance and sleep to the new Jack Johnson now. It sounds very promising so far. Goodnight. Goodlove.
Monday June 16, 2003
2:43 PM
"Just The Way You Look Tonight" by Frank Sinatra
Summer Non-Sequiturs:
Does it ever feel like the world is too small? Maybe just in southern California.
I love Norah Jones, I want to see her play.
I had a dream about Jack Johnson, and now I think I will buy his new CD. I am completely brainwashed by the airwaves that play when I am rendered unconcious.
I really do want to visit England, France, Italy, and Spain.
Jason Mraz is really quite fantastic, no lie.
There are too many lame people with the ability to speak in the world, and not enough brilliant people with the courage to speak. Be briliant, and speak.
I am going to go buy flowers&dog treats, and drop off job applications now.
Party at my house tonight, you're invited.
Saturday June 14, 2003
2:33 AM
"Halfway Home" by Jason Mraz
I am home. But somehow, always halfway there. This is temporary, and so is that. For the next four years, my home will be blurred along the 5.
At the same time that it is bittersweet, it is amazing. I am so lucky. In the past nine months, my amount of friends have more than tripled. So strange how circumstance
ruled so much of my life last year; circumstance that brought the friends, scattered along the coast. I am so lucky to cross paths with all the amazing people I have met this year; so lucky to have found love for and
from a lot of them. My life is a lot more amazing than I could have dreamed it. Times get hard and people get fickle; my mind is easily twisted, and my heart easily burned.
But through it all, the sum equals something much more pure, much more loving, and much more fun than hard times can ever hinder.
But I will be making trips down to San Diego, because I will always need my fix of good coffeehouse rock.
There are many shows and many lovers for my next high. Many resale vintage shops in PB and OB that need my attention; and my to-be cleaned out closet. It will never be far
from my heart. This summer, I am not going to let summer school and work consume my life. Because of all the things I didn't learn, what I did learn is that life is not
about the school or the work, ever. It is about everything in between.
So I will sleep tonight grateful and sad; with a heart light with love and heavy with distance. I am grateful for all the people I have met this year; for all those
who have opened their hearts to me; for the boys who dared to love me; for the girls who found the best in me; for the TAs who read my bullshit and thought nothing
less of it; for the late night conversations; for the late night food runs; for the late night jam sessions; for the late nights; for the patient roommate who found God; for
the girl next door who helped me find my musical soul; for the girl two doors down who nursed my heart; for the band that helped me make my home in San Diego; for the boy
who helped me make San Diego so much more than just a city; for the parents who grew along and apart with me; for the best friends who have seen their own adventures, but
always had me in their hearts; for everything.
It seems to be a running theme between being fine and all right, but I don't mind.
Here's to you, San Diego, my long lean lusty lover.
Wednesday June 11, 2003
12:18 AM
"Right Here" by Dani Carroll (ft. Jason Mraz)
I wanted to save this til the very last day of school, but I figured by then I wouldn't have time to write this anyway. And I am unlikely to make out with anyone new within
the next four days. And I'm doing this in celebration of finishing the very last assignment I had to do for my first year of college. Oh and there's a picture of the new skirt
I got at Flashbacks in Hillcrest. It's so lovely and amazing.
Numerical analysis in the life of a first year:
# of shoes currently sitting in drawer: 11
# of shoes that have graced the room: 23
# of vintage sweaters acquired: 3 (v.g)
# of people kissed: 8
# of girls kissed (of 8): 3
# of boys made out with: 2
# of crushes: 100001 100002
# of boys who admitted to loving this ish: 2
# of shows: 16
# of Jason Mraz shows (of 16): 5
# of plays attended: 5
# of majors: 2
# of complete books read: 6
# of fashion magazines sitting in room: 21
# of CDs bought: 2
# of movies watched: 3
# of emails sitting in mailbox: 247
# of transvestite bar visits: 3
# of frat parties: 2
# of other parties: undisclosed
# of all-nighters: 4
# of nights not spent in my bed: 12
# of adventures: countless
# of best friends kept after high school: 5
# of regrets: 0 (v.g)
Sunday June 8, 2003
11:16 PM
"Good Boy" by Barenaked Ladies
From a friend:
3 degrees of crushes:
1) "OMG I love you, let me have your baby and make you dinner."
2) "Yeah, you would be fun to make out with."
3) "It's not that I don't LIKE YOU like you, I just don't want you to like anyone else but me, dammit."
I must say I have met all three categories of boys this year.
2:38 PM
"Untouchable Face" by Ani DiFranco
I am feeling anxious, crazy, and sad all at the same time. It's interrupting my sleep; and I hate that. The fact that I haven't gone to bed before 5am in the past week is
not repaying me with the satisfaction of passing out for the weekend. Instead I'm left with a broken circadian rhythm, rolling around silently, restlessly in the cold glow of
my roommate's computer screen; as the rest of the world sleeps peacefully, even dreamily, I am so jealous. The lack of sun is making me crazy too; I'm very photosensitive.
It was raining yesterday - raining on a June afternoon in southern California.
I was thinking about love and falling in love and life and death. Of course, things that naturally cross my mind as always. I read this story about this woman and strange things
happening in her day and she just sat in a cafe and waited, watched for strange things to happen with the rest of the world. They never did. What if that's the way it is
the day you're going to die? Something - just something - is off with your whole day and then you're dead. Is that how you tell that that is the day you're going to die?
Are we ever going to know? And then I realized, if I died now, it would be unexpected - I am not long suffering from any chronic disease other than crazy - and then I realized, despite
the fact that I try to live my life like I am going to die tomorrow - I'm not. My biggest regret, if I were to die soon, would be that I never fell in love. Yeah yeah yeah, I'm
not that old, etc. etc. But when you're young, you've got to fall in love. You have to make lots and lots of mistakes; and fall in love lots of times.
I watched One Hour Photo, and took this quote out of that brilliant movie: "The things you're most afraid of have already happened."
I guess my biggest fear in love is letting go; and then that person will find out all my flaws and all my shortcomings and fall out of love with me. Because of me.
Friday, June 6, 2003
5:37 AM
"Day After Tomorrow" by Pete Thurston
I just found out that my pictures
from RIMAC are being hosted on jasonmraz.org. Of course they asked for permission; I'm just so pleased and surprised
about how cool they look with the little ® Ann in the corner. I feel like a real photographer or something silly of the sort.
Yes I'm still up writing a paper.
SheBlondeSwede show
this Saturday if you're down; you know I am.
Wednesday, June 4, 2003
4:21 PM
"Sunrays and Saturdays" by Vertical Horizon
Leave it to me to be doing the last thing I should be doing when I should be studying madly for a biology final tomorrow and writing an 11 page paper on Carroll. I'm listening
to this particular song, and learning so much about love. But for once, not about the beginning but the end. I'm reading old emails and entries and words, that once meant
so much, and the irony of the words "forever" and "lasting". Tears find my eyes, but not for long. Not for any longer than it had been before. Perhaps never that long
again. And this time they mean something more than what they had before. I never thought I would be part of a cliche, and more than ever I was part of the problem.
One relationship that was perfectly example of the measure of time in modern day society, in which "forever" and "lasting" mean until things get rough or until I meet
someone better. But more than learning what heartbreak feels like, and learning what makes me crazy and how crazy I was, I learned that I could be in love. So that is
something I hold onto from that experience in my life in comfort that I don't run from every chance at love I get; comfort that I will open my heart when I know it's right.
As much as I need this not to be a friendship, I still mean all these things.
I wish you
Sunrays and Saturdays
Perfect starry nights
Sweet dreams and moonbeams
And a love that's warm and bright
Sunrays and Saturdays
Friendship strong and true
Oceans of blue and a room with a view
To live the life you choose
Sunday, June 1, 2003
2:46 PM
"What If It All Means Something" by Chantal Kreviazuk
Ha ha ha! So the paper-that-wouldn't won the introduction contest in my writing class - earning me a big bucket of sidewalk chalk! That was the best prize I have ever,
ever won! I am not so much a failure after all!
