Monday, December 18, 2006
It's Like I Knew.
What I didn't expect from the "real world" was how on-the-edge-of-my-seat it all is. Instead of waiting for quarters to end, and vacations to come, I get to pick and choose when things end and begin. I suspect this is supposed to give the false illusion of freedom to "adults" in their "adult lives", but naturally, things that are normal to other people terrify me and give me great inner anxiety that I don't even tune into until it manifests itself as some sort of physical ailment. I'm sure that I'll die of a heart attack or ruptured brain aneurism, and all that I'll think as I'm floating away from my corporeal body is -- "Oops, how did that anxiety get there?"
To tie that into the rest of this entry so it doesn't seem meaningless is that I think I have TMJD, which is better than what I thought was the case: my wisdom teeth growing in, and much much better than the case of a friend of a friend whose jaw hurt and it turned out to be cancer. But I won't go there.
So the eye of this anxiety storm is not necessarily something I want to delve into at the moment, except to say that there are offers on the table that activate the part of my decision-making right brain that agonizes over every decision. The thing about your early twenties is that you think that every single little decision you make is going to greatly impact the rest of your life. And the truth is, well, I don't know this for fact, but I'm beginning to suspect -- that it isn't.
As soon as there is news, I will tell you all about it. But for now, I'd rather not be dooced.
Two weekends ago was chaos in the 826LA category, with a fundraising event (where I met the beautiful and delicate Fiona Apple) and a fantastic DIY Holiday workshop, where the students created their own holiday and sent the volunteers and interns scattering to make it happen in two hours. The most rewarding part of the weekend was during that workshop, while as the students were busy putting together a pageant for "Cheese-A-Lot" Holiday. A few students came behind the partition to get water, and they saw me and fellow intern Megan spreading plates of cheese in accordance with the holiday's traditions. They whispered to each other, "It's like they knew."
I'm going to enjoy the next few days with Ryan's company, as he's on winter break, and revel that while the weather outside is frightful (highs of 54! in Los Angeles! Absurd!), inside is full of fun things to do. Tonight I'm going to bake pumpkin cupcakes, have dinner with an out-of-town friend, FINISH my holiday cards, sew some stockings, and perhaps watch the new Bond film.
How are your holiday seasons going?Labels: 826LA, twentysomething
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